The News

A sea lion is saved from swimming up the LA River. The media names him Chili Pepper because a radio station covering the news story plays The Red Hot Chili Peppers current hit single for the rescue crew that saves his life.

A dog chases a rabbit into a pipe and gets his head stuck. The local firemen are able to cut the dog free from the pipe after much media hoopla. The local news channel names the dog Leary because their station is about to air the first episode in the new season of Rescue Me.

A dead man’s body is found unidentifiable. Instead of naming him John Doe, the local church names him Lazarus. A new version of the Bible is about to be released.